The Earth Angels

Never in a million years did I imagine the exhaustion that goes along with a special needs diagnosis and for me, I am lucky because my child has autism and minimal additional diagnosis to go along with the main diagnosis itself.

Still, its exhausting.

There are days filled with paperwork. Numerous piles that you fill out until your hand cramps up and you notice your handwriting get worse and worse as you go along.

There are days filled with anxiety and anticipation when you visit the doctors to see where your child is in comparison to where they were just a few months prior. Sometimes in those appointments you are surprised by additional diagnosis. Those days are tough.

There are days filled with therapies. So many therapies that you watch your other children stand and witness their summer days flying by without their own wants and needs being met and you as a mom realize, you cannot do it all. You want to but you can't.  Those days are filled with exhaustion and guilt.

There are days filled with IEP's and then the days you fill preparing for IEP's. You document, you read, you check up to make sure everyone is paying attention. You are ONE mom with ONE child and ONE IEP. These schools have hundreds to keep track of and as a mom its our responsibility to make sure they follow through. For this, for me, this has been a challenge. I am Type A, I am a perfectionist and I demand a lot. I give a lot too but I have high expectations and no qualms about letting my expectations be known. I have spent hours this year working it all out so Serrie can get the best of what the district has to offer and I would urge other parents to do the same for their kids. It may mean you are not the popular mom but it may mean your child may advance further in their life.

Some days I want to go to sleep as soon as my kids head off to bed. Its overwhelming. Its emotionally draining and I think I have aged more this year than in the last 10 years combined. And then something happens...out of the blue, a package arrives or someone let you know you are important and you are reminded though you are empty, you are overwhelmed, you are exhausted, you are not forgotten. It may be a post on Facebook, a text from a friend, a call or even a care package but whatever it is, it gives you the strength to go on.

The last few weeks I have been blessed to see it in many ways. I saw it in a friend from Wisconsin donating to the organization that gives Serrie outside therapy. I saw it in the Valentine from my mom with gift cards so I can take the kids to dinner. I saw it in a friend as she told me a care package was arriving for my sweet Serrie. I saw it in a package from my aunt for me, a book that gave me more hope. I saw it in another package from my aunt that gave us a reminder that no matter where we are we are loved. I see it in friends with knowing eyes when I have been crying. I hear it in voices when a friend lets me vent. Its all around if you just focus on the good.

Lately its been pretty draining in our country. We hear venom all around and its easy to get down and drawn into the world that seems less than perfect but instead of focusing on that, let us focus on the good. The good in a friend with a hug, the good in a note from a loved one, the good seen in someone letting someone go first at the grocery I came up with an idea I have been posting on Facebook. Let us all become Earth Angels. Let us all do for others. As we come into Valentine's week, I am not asking you to choose to follow the Hallmark Holiday but instead be love to others. Do something, no matter how small for those you love, those you know or even those you have never met. Let us fill the pages of Facebook with good. Tag it, share it, comment on it...let us turn away from the negativity and turn towards making this world a better place! Don't forget the hashtag #goodvibevalentine


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