Change

I hate change. Its a known fact.

However, autism has taught me to change.

Be flexible it said...you have no control.

Learn to understand that some people will get it, others won't.

Put your family first it said, they need you most.

So we did. There has been a lot of change and its often not just impacted us as parents but the kids as well. The greatest gift is watching them grow from this disability. First, there is Jude. Anyone can tell you a year ago teachers were chasing him outside as he ran to be with his siblings in the big school Safety breech at its best. Then there is Felicity who has become a mini-therapist in our home. As she helps Seraphina you can get a blow by blow of how to fill up a cup with milk or how to put your pants on. I am in awe of how she just knows how to help her. Then there is Cecily, she's had to leave gymnastics and is probably most like me in hating change. She's done it. Beautifully. She has done it with some tears but with strength. I like to pretend that is from me too. Compartmentalize. Finally, Simone. I can't begin to tell yo how my oldest has blossomed. Its something I never anticipated from the child she began as to the one she is becoming and I can't begin to fathom why God allowed me to be their parents.

Sure, there are days when they bicker. They always balk at chores and like all kids they don't like homework. Still, they have accepted Seraphina's diagnosis, the hours at therapy and the hours I have had to put in with her with grace and strength.

This week we were blessed to have the Board of Ed (thanks BOE) approve in home therapy for Serrie. ABA Therapy is the ONLY scientifically proven therapy to help with autism and to be honest, we just couldn't afford it. I began to take classes (and hope to finish my RBT) but the school is helping by supporting me in home with a therapist to teach me how to work with her. That being said, the only time available meant that I couldn't get to school to get my kids. At first I thought it might work but as we played it out in our minds, it seemed overwhelming and began to become clear that it was time once again for change.

Yesterday I crafted a note to our Monsignor. He's been supportive, loving and wonderful of Seraphina from her birth. He understood but said he was sad. Then I cautiously wrote to the principal, she too understood and Cecily's teacher, the one I feared telling the most got it. It was a true act of kind Christianity when she looked at me and said "I get it", "I understand".

So today, we finalized the plans to change the kids to their sending district schools. At first I was apprehensive about telling them and I won't lie, in true Cecily form, she cried. The others however were excited. They were excited to be "a family again". They were excited to be in school with their sister and they were excited to come "home" to the township. Cecily shed those tears, slept on it and like her mom compartmentalized the leaving and truly shined in her ability to direct a play today at school. This morning she even said "thank you mom". I asked "what for?", and her response, "for allowing us to switch to meet new people" because you see, sometimes change isn't wanted but sometimes it is good.

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