Sometimes a Loss is a Win

With Seraphina, things have gotten turned upside down. I have to remind myself that there are four other children counting on me to help them and guide them through life. Pair this with my husbands travel schedule, kids ranging in age from 3 to 11 and just trying to keep up with life and volunteering and sometimes I lose sight of what matters. Yesterday however I was reminded that I need to stop, take a deep breath and make sure I am NOT using all my energy on Seraphina alone. Its truly a struggle for me because I so want to give her what she needs and help her develop as typically as possible.

To try and stay involved with the other kids, this year I decided I would coach field hockey and somehow also ended up coaching soccer for my Jude. He only  went 3 times and though I was annoyed that I got up at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday and he rarely accompanied me, my oldest did. She got up each week this fall and volunteered to assist me in teaching 8 four and five year olds in learning how to play soccer. She got nothing for this, she chose to do it because she wanted to. She wanted to help me and she loves children. I saw who she was becoming.

In the recent weeks I have seen who she is becoming and I am truly honored and blessed to be her mom. My oldest is unique. Face it, we all are unique but getting to where we are has been no easy road. She has had struggles that I could list for days but she's also coming into her own and blossoming into an amazing girl.


Last year, she began her journey in field hockey. I was surprised as sports are NOT her thing. If there was a reading sport, she'd win every time but being a part of a team scared me and though she struggled, she went and played and tried.

I assumed last year would be her only year playing but when it was time for camp this year, she wanted to go and sign up once again for her level in the Township. Though I hesitated I knew the coaches for the level would help her and help her they did.

The season has not been easy. It was the first year we had kids dressed in goal. She thought she would give it a try. She did try but goal wasn't her spot, much to her chagrin.


I hadn't seen many of her games as I have been focused on my own team but last week we were at the same field and I ran over in time to see her making some plays that disappointed me. I wasn't disappointed because she wasn't playing well but she was playing unsafe. On the way home, we had a very tense talk and tears flowed down her cheeks. She truly did not get the weight of what she was doing and how it could have impacted others. We practiced on the grass. She went to practice and her amazing coaches worked a bit one on one and yesterday, I saw maturity and grace. In years past, giving her direction was a challenge. She was "self-directed" as I hear from many. Yesterday though she was coach directed. I always say an athlete is even better when they take correction with grace and understanding.

Her team didn't finish up with a perfect record but she finished her season in the perfect way because of her amazing coaches. Yesterday she didn't score but her teammates parents and I all saw a difference. When the last game came to a close, I saw the girls running back to their coach and I saw her running out to the goalie. She may not ever be the star of an athletic team but being a teammate is important too and watching yesterday I think I will support her if she wants to continue her journey in sports, win or lose because sometimes losing is actually a win in life.



Thanks to her amazing coaches, Darrah, Mary Jo, Mike, Eric, Courtney and Jenn. This year has been one of tremendous growth and truly sports have a lot to do with it. Thanks for reminding me to celebrate the milestones of all my kiddos because all my kiddos are gifts.


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