Month of Mommy

I turned 37. It sounds incredibly old to me. I feel like just yesterday I was 24, pregnant and ready for my first child to be born. Strangely enough, that child is now a tween, acting like a teen and I am nearing 40. EEP!

This spring has been spent making appointments, scheduling visits, keeping up with therapies and TRYING my best to make the other kids feel like they are still living a normal life. The daily work outs? They are gone. The healthy eating? Its eat and run and the wine? Well, I have gone from the occasional glass of wine drinker to a woman who can finish a bottle in a few days...this mom is running on fumes and I realize, the short temper and less than peaceful demeanor is something I need to change, for me.

This month as I stare at my schedule, I am overwhelmed by the listing of appointments, moments of therapies and the inability to make sure my kids had the summer I envisioned...since I have this schedule I realize I have to be as even as I possibly can and so I am making this the "month of mommy". I am going to work on putting myself on that list so I can be the best mommy I can be for all 5 of my kids.

This month, I am making changes. I am choosing to exercise again. My parents got me a new TV for my room, the thought was to make it easier for me to have some time alone, and I plan to get in a few minutes of yoga every morning to center myself. During that time, I will make sure prayers is at the center of my practice. When I practice and I pray, my day begins in a better way. I also plan to remember to eat, healthfully, when I should. That Shakeology that typically gets remembered at 11 a.m.will be a priority so I am not grabbing whatever is in my sight as my sugar bottoms and I become like Cruella deVille. That wine that was so easily opened? It will be for occasions only...and that doesn't mean the occasion of all 5 kids are asleep and no one was lost today.

This month I am going to take a deep breath. I have been thinking and recently a few thoughts have come to mind....the one that keeps sticking out is "thy will be done...." I am not good at NOT being in control and Seraphina, the diagnosis and the new normal is just His way of reminding me that I must be still and know He is in control.


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