There are others...
There are still other kids in this family. I know, the last few months have been overwhelming. I have ended up spending more hours on meetings, emails and readings than I could possibly count and though I have tried to do what I can for who I can, I feel like a massive failure because.....there still are more children...those four kids I had prior to our little Princess, they are still here and still in need and they are still developing and growing in ways I could never imagine. Some days I feel like I am running on a hamster wheel trying to meet their needs. Vacation. Bible school. Library Trips. Parties. Playdates. Just trying to make sure they know THEY are just as important as our princess, our little one that is growing in our family emotionally and spiritually.
Tonight was key in reminding me about each of the other kids and how they have grown. Its a reminder THEY need to be recognized for their own growth, their own individual endeavors and their own abilities to be WHO they have each been created to be.
My first born heard about an opportunity to play Rugby this Spring. Rugby? Is this not the child that would cower in gym class? Is this not a child who had Early On to help me with sensory issues? Is this not the child who wanted nothing to do with athletics? This child, the one who truly was THIS child is now the child willing to try Field Hockey. She's willing to try basketball and I will give ALL credit to her and her coaches. It was not me.
These coaches, the women she has had in her life have given her confidence to try new things, to branch out, to experience things I never thought possible and she's doing this as I am still trying to make ends meet, to make things. I will also credit her friends who are willing to support her in her endeavors EVEN when she's not a star athlete, even when she's not the best because she's trying and I am grateful.
Tonight a friend rang the doorbell. She was a friend that supported my girl. She didn't care that she was a little edgy and a little anxious, she was the girl that cared about her no matter what and was willing to give her the time she needed to be who she was. The mom in turn was willing to support me. In my endeavors as a mom of five, a mom of a child with special needs and a mom that JUST COULDN'T get it done without help.
Managing the family with a child with special needs is proving to be daunting. Just last night the oldest let me know that she feels her own needs are not being met and though I was upset and overwhelmed its a good reminder that no matter how hard I am working with our Serrie, there are four other kids that need my attention, my love, my support.
Tonight as I watched my barefoot gal excited to try rugby I was reminded that there are others and though most of my attention has been on that special needs kiddo I need to make sure I am meeting all my kiddos needs!