A Little Bump

I am sitting watching my fifth born. She is the one that surprised us all shortly after the passing of my dear cousin Clare. She bolted into life without waiting for anyone (doctor's included). She's adorable. She is sweet and she's different.

About 3 months ago, we made the decision to pull our second born from competitive gymnastics. There were a number of reasons but one was that I felt I was maybe "missing" something in my wee one's life. She was not speaking nearly as much as her older siblings and the daily fights with clothes, food and eye contact where overwhelming. I was certain with some time. Dedicated time, I could turn this right around.

In April, we visited my parents and with my mom's experience in special education I tried to pinpoint WHAT was different and HOW I could fix it. At home. Alone. Like my blog post on pride and clutter...I needed that perfect life.

Yesterday I made the decision to say it out loud. Those concerns I held deep within my soul released into words and tears with a number of people. I dialed Early Intervention. I called the pediatrician and I called a friend who has first hand knowledge with children with special needs. Yesterday was ONE OF THOSE DAYS. It was a day when you have to lean on friends because you can't really hold yourself up. You have to cry through the tears and you have to smile when friends want your happiness to return. It will.

Yesterday was the hardest day. Admission. It was listening to the words out loud and it was admitting I needed to get her help. As soon as possible.

Seraphina is different. She will make eye contact, but not all the time. She gets frustrated when she doesn't have the words. She can scooter, she can throw and catch balls. She has words, but only uses them when SHE wants to.

I am not sure what Seraphina's road looks like and I am certain her road is changing ours. I am the first to tell others to trust God, and now its my turn. I am the first to remind others the crosses we carry get us closer to Him and Heaven. Its my turn to help her carry her cross.

I am hopeful that its a language delay but I also know that there may be more. I am aware this road may be long and challenging but I am also sure that God gave this little one to me for a reason.

Today we begin the journey crossing the first little bump. We head to the doctor to get that referral to the developmental pediatrician as I anxiously await that call from Early Intervention. This life isn't perfect. Its not what I planned and it is a bit messy but I know with my family, friends and faith we will do just fine.


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