Posts

I Wish I Hadn't Judged, Now I Understand

I wish before my youngest child was born that I knew what parents of children with disabilites were going through, not because I could take away your pain, frustration or sadness but because I could be there like my own village was today.

You see, years ago, I thought I got parenting. I had a child with sensory issues. I thought I knew it all. In reality, I knew nothing. In reality, I still don't. I know the reality of my daughters disabilities and her struggles. I can tell you when she is going to melt down and why. Sometimes I can even prevent her meltdowns or struggles in life. I don't pretend to know the struggle it is to walk in your shoes, because I put on a different pair. We all do as parents. We all have shoes that are filled with struggles. Is it our child's physical, mental, spiritual growth? Does our child not fit in? Is our child the child the school bully? We all wear shoes that have the opportunity to allow us to be more understanding, more open, more lovin…

Bio Medi What?????

This past year has been a whirlwind of emotions that have gotten me to new highs and lows I never dreamed of and in doing so its allowed me to be more understanding, more aware and more open. We all know I am pretty transparent but when I say "open" I mean it in terms of making choices to learn more about alternatives in parenting and medicine.

For years I have been a borderline crunchy mama. I call it crispy or toasty. We use a lot of natural products including essential oils and natural cleaning supplies, but having a husband who is a toxicologist, I am also very aware of the necessary medicines and chemicals that all begin as natural products from our environment that can be detrimental or beneficial depending on how they are used.

As the school year came to a close I was wiped out and exhausted. I felt like our sweet Serrie was at a plateau and though she was moving forward academically, behaviorally I was at a loss. I was at such a loss that I had even told one of her i…

Learning to Let Go

I am a Type A person.

I like control.

I like to be in control. Its one reason I don't fly. I am obviously better equipped (and safer) to fly a plane than a highly trained pilot. Right?

Wrong.

I also don't really want to let others "do my job".

I chose to have all these kids. I dreamed of being a parent but that dream never had clips of a child with a disability. It also never had clips of 5 kids. Sure, growing up I had diaries with baby names. They all began with the letter "K" and I knew I would marry and stay in quaint Ridgefield. None of that came true...except the dream of being a parent sans the disability.

I don't have any "K" names and I don't live in quaint Ridgefield married to my best friend whom I had a pact with if we both didn't find another soul mate (he found a great girl, I found an amazing man).

When we came to New Jersey, that Type A Chick checked in and turned away so many. I was good enough at setting up some crazy …

Its the Little Things

This week has been exhausting. Outside of the normal end of the year stuff; teacher gifts, parties, graduation prep, recycling, organizing, cleaning and prepping for the summer I had tried to reach out and help someone in need. I am the first to admit I LIKE to help others. I live to help others and I feel good helping others but what happens when your can't help anymore and you feel like a failure? You feel guilt. That guilt paired with the fact that our third born was struggling to find her place in the family and causing a disruption at every curve, I was exhausted. When you add in the prep for the upcoming ESY, summer programs, therapies, summer camps, VBS, Swim Lessons and the fact that you wonder how you will maintain the house, maintain a marriage and focus a little on keeping yourself sane, I was overwhelmed.

Lucky for me, I had planned a massage the Friday before school ended. I made the appointment weeks ago and literally was counting down. Monday I was exhausted but kne…

Rocking 4th Quarter Parenting

Image
This year has brought all kinds of change for the Nutty North's. There was that pesky diagnosis last year of autism and a host of other co-diagnosis'. We spent the summer last year preparing our then 2 year old to attend school and tried to manage the other four and keep them on track beginning school at the school they finished last summer.


It worked. Until it didn't and it seemed we had to change our plan. 

While the oldest began school where they left off, our tiny tot shuttled off to her first day of her school career. She was not yet 3. I bawled my eyes out and realized life as we knew it had changed. I had no idea how much it would change in the coming months. 
While I tried to keep up the 30 minute drive, sometimes 4 times a day, I grew weary. With therapies in and out of school as well as the kids extracurricular sports, I couldn't do it and we made a switch cautiously to public school. I was anxious and afraid. I wondered how it would go? I knew we had already…

Envelopes Do Not Make a Christian

Today I got a letter in the mail. It was from church.

Church since moving here has been ANYTHING but natural.

You see, in Michigan we attended mass. Weekly, sometimes more than that but always weekly. I started a mother's group which was kind of funny at a "Student Parish" in college as only two moms showed. Both of them wanted to raise their children. We were all young but the three of us made it work and though there were no bible studies or faith formation among us, we were together, a small community. I lived for those hours locked in the little playroom nursing my babies and talking mom.  I taught CCD, we chased our little ones around the Narthex and I watched as my husband chose to become Catholic being baptized with our second born child.I also knew I could count on them in a pinch, and one showed up the day we lost our third with a rose scented candle. These were the people Jesus sent to walk along side us as faith filled Catholics.

When we moved here, we visited…

Disgrace?

Months ago, I wrote of my husbands company and its lack of understanding in regards to children with disabilities. You see, my daughter has autism. She is not alone. A number of parents have collaborated to try and get better benefits for their children but it hasn't been done.

Securing therapies for a child with a special need as well as beginning to process a diagnosis is difficult. Emotionally. Spiritually. Financially. When a parent is met with this reality, the least they could experience is ability to have their child succeed with the greatest opportunity.

The community of parents in the organization have gone to Human Resources but have been once again turned away. Tonight I asked for names and numbers and my husband, being a man of honor refused to share as they have a company policy of not sharing information about their employees. If I can find the information on the internet its mine, however here I sit wanting to provide the best for my child but unable to do so withou…