Why Reach Out to Reach?

Imagine trying to breathe as your doctor confirms the diagnosis you knew to be true. Imagine reeling with pain and anxiety as you wonder about the life that your child will have with autism and a host of other diagnosis carefully checked off on a simple white paper you hold in your hand. Instead of a diploma, the key to your future, you are holding one of the biggest road blocks your child will face in their life.


Then, imagine going home as if you were running a sprint to call all the best agencies and get the best therapies for your then two year old child. As you make call after call you realize something doesn't add up. Your insurance which is offered through a major company doesn't cover therapy. Any therapy.

The days quickly pass and you realize that state mandated early intervention is coming to an end and you are more scared than you were when you first heard that life changing diagnosis. How are you going to afford the therapies? Harvard says these therapies …

Public Meltdowns and How It Feels

You know that warmth that wells up within you when something bad is happening?

Don't say you don't. It happens to us all. For me, I know I am red and sometimes tears well up within my eyes. Today was one of those days when I am reminded of just how difficult parenting a child with special needs is.

After 14 hours of sleep and a successful trip to Target last week after dance, I decided to strap on my big girl boots and head to the aisles to grab the necessities needed for the week and one pair of feet pajamas for my sweet boy suffering with croup.

I thought it would go well. Honestly.

After a stop in the bathroom with good behaviors I thought I had it in the bag.

I let my dear daughter pick her cart. She wanted the one that you typically need a commercial license to steer and sat up proudly as I buckled her in and began to navigate the ridiculously small aisles and hairpin turns. Up first? Shoes. How this girl loves shoes. Ones with sparkles. Ones that glitter. She loves shoes…

How Do You Measure Success

Its been eating at me since last week when I went into her class party. Inclusion. Its good but as I watched, it was apparent how different my little wonder was. I watched as children raised their hands in response to questions like "do you want juice" and she sat there in her own world, happy with the snacks I brought. There, by her side is the most wonderful human being but I know its only a matter of time before she is gone and once again we are trudging through deep waters alone, not knowing how we will find someone that will come close to replacing her. She is her other mother and in her hands I see growth I cannot achieve.

That day, I went home and while anxious kids readied to trick-or-treat, my child tried to make the most of her day. She did but not in the way one hopes or imagines. Instead, she handed out candy with her grandma and grandpa, welcoming in strangers as they went from door to door begging for candy.  I thought of what she "should" have done a…

Restart. Reset.

The last two months have been overwhelming to say the least and last Saturday it happened. I cracked. With one simple text, I fell apart and realized my trying to please everyone wasn't doing anything positive for me or those around me. Ahh, the trouble with being a people pleaser. So I took a break. I closed my Facebook account and apparently gave a number of people a scare. I stepped back from phone communication and though friends understood it was certainly not like my typical self and I tried to re-evaluate all that is going on in life. My life. My family's life.

Life isn't easy. In fact, often I think life is down right challenging. I have been caught telling other Catholic friends that I am pretty sure life on earth is to be considered our purgatory. I am pretty sure they think I am nuts but I am not sure that I am completely incorrect. Life is a challenge.

It has amazing highs, from simple moments staring off into a sunset to incredible lows when we lose a family m…

A Gift I Never Knew

Once upon a time, I was you. Hurried. In my own little world with all things fitting perfectly into line. Today, that perfection is overtaken by a life full of loud children with different wants and needs. I am even busier than I once was and more hurried than I ever thought I could be but now, I have a gift, one I never requested or expected.

I was given a gift on the day of my daughter's autism diagnosis. It was the realization of how many little moments mean something.

Today, as you rushed past the young man struggling to put his bags in a cart and push them into Walmart, you grabbed your granddaughters hands and muttered angrily how you would have to go in the exit.

I sat in awe.

I am "his" mom.

I saw the signs my child was not developing typically and made that heartbreaking call, asking for help in diagnosing my child.

I read up on the possibilities and visited three physicians before getting the referral that would change my life.

Like you I rushed past. I didn…

Stretched to the Limit...Fundraising Until it's Cheaper to Pay!

I just turned in my son's cub scout wreath sales. I shamelessly had him post on Facebook selling his wares. I had a number of friends offer but after looking at the cost, I couldn't keep pushing it. In fact, I actually shut down. Sure, my friends like my son but $37 dollars worth? When his den will get a measly $8.00?

This was after I hand delivered 4 different items to the schools for our 2nd Annual Tricky Tray and planned to buy tickets.

Then there was the inquiry at church to bring a basket for their Tricky Tray followed by a request from each child's individual class to donate something to their baskets.

This stresses me out.

Not only do I want to support my own kiddos, I want to support my friends kiddos. Chocolate sales for their field trip? Sure. Flower sales for their Girl Scout Troop? I want to help there too. I can tell you I have gotten 14 emails from friends children for candy and nut sales for Girl Scouts. This year alone. Those mandated private school letters…

Don't Press Send

Typically this blog is written about the crazy family life we have with five kiddos, one on the spectrum, but today I am taking a minute to share an experience I had last week when I went to listen to a talk on the Internet and how its changing our lives, especially those who are most dear to us, our children.

Years ago, when the internet first began we had simplistic technology that afforded parents a learning curve to begin to understand what we as children were experiencing online. Today, its nearly a full time job keeping up with technology and how it can impact our kids day in and out. I find myself looking to my tween for ways to use Apps and software that changes faster than most parents can keep up with.

Its scary.

Earlier this year, our state was rocked when a child, just 12 took her life because of bullying. Many of us, including myself were bullied as children but our home was a safe zone, away from the struggles of pre-teen and teen life in which we could unwind, be loved …