What Do YOU Do to Help Me During A Meltdown?

We have all been there, we enter a store and see or hear a child, sometimes not so small lashing out. It can be verbal, it can be continuous screams and instantly those of us with soft hearts are drawn to do something. I have always been that way but since having our sweet Serrie, I am even more aware that the struggle is real.

Twice in the last month, my sweet girl has been overwhelmed on outings to stores. One thing I loved as a parent was taking my kiddos to Target, talking as we whizzed up and down aisles exploring all the sights, sounds and smells. Since Seraphina's diagnosis, those fun trips have become trips filled with trepidation and sometimes even fear.

Friends have begun to open up with questions for me, and I welcome them. I will say, this is a birds eye view, from one bird. I am one person sharing our journey. It by no means will cover all children on the spectrum but may give you some insight on how to help others when you see them struggling while out and about.

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We Truly Are The Same

We are all equal. There is no distinction when you take away our body, our souls, I believe were created with a need for kindness, acceptance and love. As we finish up a weekend that was full of food, fellowship and family, I want to take a moment to hit this message home.

It doesn't matter where you were raised, if you have a roof over your head nor how big that roof was, you were created for a reason and my guess it was a good one.

As we enter in the coming weeks, I pray we can all be a little softer, more accepting, more understanding. I pray we can find good in the struggles, that we see greatness in the dark moments and that we begin to learn to understand each other instead of look past each other.

Recently a friend asked me why I feel I have to do things for others? The answer didn't come to me then, partially because it was selfish but now I acknowledge it. I want to live in a world of peace. I want to live in a world of hope. I want people to live in a world where the…

In The Stillness

Last night I heard you wake. I lay quietly in my bed hoping that you would quickly fall back to sleep and allow your little mind to stop racing. As I lay awake staring at the ceiling, one sister began grinding her teeth, the other lay next to me peacefully breathing and you began to script. I listened as you talked about "Peppa" and carried on about what you did and didn't want to do. I wondered. Were you scared? Should I try to wake you? What did you need?

A few moments later I heard the sounds of that little diapered body pitter patter down the hall. You stood in the doorway looking and I called you over. You curled up into my arms and you felt safe. The scripting began again. I tried to quiet your words, to caress your face in hopes that both of us could return to peaceful sleep soon.

I couldn't.

You continued.

I wondered what the scripting meant? You didn't want to play house? You rambled on talking about "Chrissy" whom I assume is an imaginary frie…

Why Reach Out to Reach?

Imagine trying to breathe as your doctor confirms the diagnosis you knew to be true. Imagine reeling with pain and anxiety as you wonder about the life that your child will have with autism and a host of other diagnosis carefully checked off on a simple white paper you hold in your hand. Instead of a diploma, the key to your future, you are holding one of the biggest road blocks your child will face in their life.


Then, imagine going home as if you were running a sprint to call all the best agencies and get the best therapies for your then two year old child. As you make call after call you realize something doesn't add up. Your insurance which is offered through a major company doesn't cover therapy. Any therapy.

The days quickly pass and you realize that state mandated early intervention is coming to an end and you are more scared than you were when you first heard that life changing diagnosis. How are you going to afford the therapies? Harvard says these therapies …

Public Meltdowns and How It Feels

You know that warmth that wells up within you when something bad is happening?

Don't say you don't. It happens to us all. For me, I know I am red and sometimes tears well up within my eyes. Today was one of those days when I am reminded of just how difficult parenting a child with special needs is.

After 14 hours of sleep and a successful trip to Target last week after dance, I decided to strap on my big girl boots and head to the aisles to grab the necessities needed for the week and one pair of feet pajamas for my sweet boy suffering with croup.

I thought it would go well. Honestly.

After a stop in the bathroom with good behaviors I thought I had it in the bag.

I let my dear daughter pick her cart. She wanted the one that you typically need a commercial license to steer and sat up proudly as I buckled her in and began to navigate the ridiculously small aisles and hairpin turns. Up first? Shoes. How this girl loves shoes. Ones with sparkles. Ones that glitter. She loves shoes…

How Do You Measure Success

Its been eating at me since last week when I went into her class party. Inclusion. Its good but as I watched, it was apparent how different my little wonder was. I watched as children raised their hands in response to questions like "do you want juice" and she sat there in her own world, happy with the snacks I brought. There, by her side is the most wonderful human being but I know its only a matter of time before she is gone and once again we are trudging through deep waters alone, not knowing how we will find someone that will come close to replacing her. She is her other mother and in her hands I see growth I cannot achieve.

That day, I went home and while anxious kids readied to trick-or-treat, my child tried to make the most of her day. She did but not in the way one hopes or imagines. Instead, she handed out candy with her grandma and grandpa, welcoming in strangers as they went from door to door begging for candy.  I thought of what she "should" have done a…

Restart. Reset.

The last two months have been overwhelming to say the least and last Saturday it happened. I cracked. With one simple text, I fell apart and realized my trying to please everyone wasn't doing anything positive for me or those around me. Ahh, the trouble with being a people pleaser. So I took a break. I closed my Facebook account and apparently gave a number of people a scare. I stepped back from phone communication and though friends understood it was certainly not like my typical self and I tried to re-evaluate all that is going on in life. My life. My family's life.

Life isn't easy. In fact, often I think life is down right challenging. I have been caught telling other Catholic friends that I am pretty sure life on earth is to be considered our purgatory. I am pretty sure they think I am nuts but I am not sure that I am completely incorrect. Life is a challenge.

It has amazing highs, from simple moments staring off into a sunset to incredible lows when we lose a family m…